Regrouping

 So, to put it simply, my wife dumped me about seven months ago.  It is hard.  The divorce process is ongoing.  I am the primary care giver for my son right now because I'm near a school with lots of services, or so it was thought.  My wife and I are amicable, but obviously there is tension.  Our marriage ended when I was perhaps at my worst.  As I was getting dumped I started a new job that would be challenging even if it had my full concentration.  It does not to put it mildly, and I would not be surprised if I get canned shortly.  Tragic, but it won't be the end of the world.  I hope.

Anyway, blah blah blah.  Life is bad right now.  You've been there.  Not exactly as I am but we all go through the ups and downs.  Jesus has been faithful to me, providing me what I need and showing me things I needed to see.  All that is for another post but I wanted to acknowledge that.  Also things are not all bad.  I never thought I'd end up an apartment again but low and behold I like my apartment.  A smart choice I made was not being a cheap skate on getting an apartment.  I thought if I have to go through this valley of life I wanted to go through it in a decent place to live.  My place has a salt water pool, a dog park, a basketball court, a decent gym (like 80% of a real gym, it is nice), some common areas with big TVs and comfortable furniture.  My neighbors are generally mellow enough, so I like it.  I even met a few that I might become friends with over time, if I make the effort which I hope I do.

Anyhow, where was a I going with this?  Life is hard.  I expect some more blows soon.  I don't know how those will play out.  I think I need to get on the new job thing fast. But there are other things I need to do too.  Here is a list of how I regroup from my failed marriage to whatever life I'm transitioning to.

• Put God first.  This is difficult because that includes being a good witness as a good worker for my job, which I'm failing at miserably.  But I must stay in the fight to be a light for Him even if I fail some battles.  I must confess my failings and work hard.  But also I need to become regular with Sunday church service (I think I found a Church, it isn't perfect but for me I think it is a good fit where I can server and meet fellow Christians).  I need to get involved in some sort of midweek Bible study, and maybe find some capacity where God would allow and desire me to serve.  
• Pray about what is next.  One of the reasons I'm sticking with this job even though I don't like it is I'm trying to figure out why I don't like it.  Day one I didn't like it.  I had a sense of foreboding...but I had a sense about my last job and I was there for 13 years.  I need to really seek God's wisdom on my I don't like my job...is it just I don't like coding anymore?  Is it the environment?  Is it the complexity in how problems are solved that I think should be simple?  Is it inheriting someone else's baby but being powerless and perhaps not competent enough to shape it to my vision?  Is that the problem, I'm just hands for someone else's vision and I want more. Should I change my career path, and if so into what?  All these are unknowns, and I need to figure them out quick.
• Concentration.  I can't concentrate anymore on stuff I'm not passionate about.  Why am I not passionate about things?  Regardless, I need to be productive and I'm just not.  I need to bypass social media, perhaps 100%.
• I need to work more with my son.  God please help me if I lose my job.  It will make that harder.  Regardless, I need to work with my son and maximize the help he is getting at school but he shouldn't have to rely on that alone.  I must be there.
• Play with my dog more.
• Lose weight.  No matter what happens in life dropping a huge chunk of lbs will help me.  There is no down side to it.
• Program and learn on my own.  
• Budget in for Me.  Fun things and care for Me.  Not Denis, not someone else.  Me.
• Lastly, and this is really the first point repeated.  Remain in the vine (Jesus).  Apart from Him I can do nothing.  I am God's child, even though I might fail and suffer for that failure, He is with me.  I will be OK in the end.  Each day that goes by is a day closer to me setting all these burdens aside and being with my God forever.