Corona Virus Vaccines and Me

Rather than write out a big long post, I'm going to bullet point my thoughts.

• I'm not anti-vaccines.  I am not pro-vaccines.  Vaccines are a tool.  Each one is different and designed for a purpose made by different companies at different times,
• Each vaccine should be analyzed both in and of itself and it a scheme of an overall whole.  Does the vaccine do what it should?  Are there risk?  Should it be used in conjunction with other vaccines?  Is the use of multiple vaccines during a smaller time period stack and logarithmically increase the slight risk of each one to a higher level of risk?  
• I have been vaccinated multiple times.
• mRNA vaccines are new, not very well tested, and despite what you are hearing are having dramatically negative affects on many.  It is a risk assessment each person has to make, the potential threat of Covid, vs the potential threat of side effects, both short and long, from the mRNA gene therapy vaccines.
• Media is suppressing and under reporting negative effects of the vaccines, like high miscarriage rates in pregnant women, blood clotting problems being more wide spread, and sudden deaths where the only variable that was changed / introduced to a person was receiving an mRNA shot recently.

OK, I have other thoughts, but those are the ones where I don't go off the deep end into some conspiracy abyss.  That is the technical side.  Let's talk about the political side.

• There is a profit motive for the pharmacy companies to pump the vaccine.  Just because you are not paying for it out of pocked up front does not mean the pharma companies are not being paid, they are, and making billions off of government payouts that you will pay for long term through inflation or increased taxes.
• They want kids to get the mRNA vaccines.  Kids generally suffer little to on effects if they get Covid-19 and seem to not spread Covid, not get it easily, and not be effected by it.  I am 100% for not forcing kids to get the vaccine but that is where we are headed.  Remember schools can require vaccines, even some are requiring things like HPV vaccines.  That probably should not have been allowed to happen.  But once you give a group a capability, they tend to expand on it.  And they will try to use existing authority as an excuse to force the mRNA vaccines on kids if they want to attend.
• The vaccine passports are straight up fascism.  They will expand vertically and horizontally.  Vertically in the amount of punishment you will receive through denial of services or capacities or employment.  Horizontally in the fact that more things will be added on to your passport.  It won't stop with the first round of shots, there will be more rounds.  And different types of things will be added to your list of things that you need to comply to to keep your passport in the green.  I'll pass in being a part of that.  My ancestors didn't fight and die for this country and it's freedoms so technocrats could use fear to take it all away.  Hard pass.

So, all theoretical right?  We don't know much about the vaccines long term, even short term, what the virus will do, how passports if even allowed will play out.  But me resisting the vaccine is already hurting me.  That is what this post is about.

• My wife (we are separated at the moment) is having surgery and can't watch my son during the week.  I was going to take him to my parent's but my mother is telling me since I haven't had the vaccine I have to quarantine at their house.  Work wants me on a secure network and I don't think a hotel qualifies, so I think I will scrub that.  I can stay at my wife's apartment (she won't be there as she recovers...ackward, but I can keep my son in school so I can work).  So I exploded on my mom which is horrible of me but becoming more common.  I hate when I do that but she is just going off the reservation more and more...and taking my father with her.  So I don't know if I will see my parents again.
• Threat of job loss.  Got a new gig, a good gig, but it is a struggle so I will not be indispensable for awhile.  The HR VP let it slip out that they want to make getting the vaccine mandatory.  Owner said that wasn't the case, but I expect to be put under pressure to get the vaccine when everyone is ordered back into the office.  I will be forced to wear a mask when everyone else doesn't.  I expect that I may not work there for long.
• Not getting the vaccine is putting strain on chances for my wife and I to work things out.  I expect that strain will continue to grow especially if I lose my job over taking a stand against the vaccine.  I expect other relationships to sour as well, hell this is even being encouraged by the passport pushers.

So this crap isn't theoretically for me anymore.  It is costing me in relationships.  It is becoming more difficult for me to spend time with my family.  Down the road my resistance will cost me even more.

The sad part is I'm not that courageous.  I see myself folding under pressure.  I hope I don't but if I don't the credit for not folding is to be found on high and not in me because the reality of it is I'm mostly a coward.  But I know I would be doing wrong on multiple levels, and I would be hoping against my instincts, my education as a poli sci major with an emphasis on authoritarian regimes, a Bible believer who sees where this is headed with the not buy or sell thing unless you have a mark, I would be betraying all of that. I would be hoping that none of my concerns come to pass.  I would be betraying what I believe.  I hope I keep my stand.  Hell I even hope I keep it and I am wrong and none of my concerns are warranted...the vaccines turn out to be mostly safe, the passports are short lived, and everything goes back to normal.  That would be nice wouldn't it.  It would be nice if I don't get Covid (vacced or not) as well.   But this whole resistant question isn't an abstract for me.  It is going to hurt, and hurt hard.  Will they take my kid from me, or try to, soon?  I can see it.  I can see all bad.  Trying to steel myself for the worst.