Finding my Wizard's Tower

I know why monks, magicians, and crazy scholars would go off to some remote area and just wish to be left alone to do their thing.

Though I can't claim the same level of intellect, I get it.  

The difference for me would be to get away from what I know, a place where I can forget the bad parts, rejoice in the good parts.

Knowledge in and of itself is just vanity without context.  To know too much of a thing but not putting it in the right context can weigh hard on your soul.

I know a lot about dark things.  Much of my recent life is trying to put what I know in the right context so it doesn't take me down. But I still know it.  It is still there. I can keep it out of my day-to-day thinking, but it doesn't take much to trigger it and have it all flow back.

Give me a forest on a nice day, wind whispering through the trees.  I would rather know about that, what birds are in the area, are they the same ones as a few days ago?  How are they doing?  Sitting on a vista looking down at a beautiful valley.  Give me that 100x over esoteric knowledge that poisons the mind.

Why the angst?  I'm feeling the pull...I'm feeling that old energy flow into me.  I'm starting to see things again.  I'm not sure which side this actually comes from.

This is not good.  I need to hit that forest vista a pray hard.  I don't want to get sucked into what I know is coming in the wrong way.  

It may not be up to me.  But if I'm used, I'd rather be used in helping individual people navigate this world in the quite of relative obscurity.  The larger stuff, I'll pass.  

So I'm off to find my monk's monastery, my wizard's castle, my old hermits hut.  Let the world spin in it's corruption leaving me largely untouched.  And those who I can help, they will cross my path.  They will find me.

I will no longer live as a target and in misery finding them.  I'll let God do that, and if he brings none, that is more than fine too :).  I've got a family to raise, and a simple life to live.  I'll chalk up my education in the dark as an unfortunate detour that I will be happy to forge.